Anger

Anger – when we are angry, why should we ask the other for help?

I was recently asked the above question, in relation to the beautiful Thich Nhat Hanh Video below. 
https://youtu.be/Q_UZCuBuuoU

My understanding of why we would ask the other for help is as follows;

As he mentions in the video, anger and pride usually come hand-in-hand.
When we are angry at someone we have a tendency to push them away..“go away, leave me alone, don’t touch me.“
This is usually our pride (ego) speaking and maybe not necessarily what our heart actually wants or needs in that moment, (which is usually love, compassion, empathy, understanding, support, etc).
According to Thich Nhat Hanh
„compassion is the antidote to anger and bitterness.“

When we are in the throws of anger,  we often feel powerless and it can be difficult to give ourselves the compassion we need, so the other can actually play an important role in helping us to heal, through their compassion. However more often than not, we end up triggering each other and going back and forth in a game of ping-pong based on control and domination.
Through authentically asking the other for help from the heart and not the ego, we put our pride (ego) aside and recognise their ability to help us in our healing process.
This heart-based plea also helps reassure the other person that they are not in danger of being blamed or accused.

With this feeling of safety there is more chance that the other can also put their ego to one side.
As a result, they may be more inclined to reconsider what they may have done to contribute to the suffering.
Furthermore there is a greater chance that they too respond from the heart (and not the defense mechanism of the ego) and give us what is needed for healing. (love and compassion in some shape or form).


With love